Screw the Safety Protocols I Want Superpowers! Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee

Ready to toss the handbook out the window and charge headfirst into a questionable science experiment? This shirt’s for you, future hero—or villain (no judgment). Boldly declare your disdain for safety goggles and your passion for gamma rays, accidental mutations, or mildly radioactive coffee spills.
Made for rebels with a cause (and a strong desire for superpowers), this tee delivers comfort, attitude, and just enough recklessness to get noticed by mysterious government agencies.
Product Features:
Made with 100% US-grown cotton—soft enough for mere mortals, strong enough for aspiring mutants
Medium-weight fabric (5.3 oz/yd²) for year-round wearability
Classic fit that won’t restrict your ability to lift cars or fire lasers (should you succeed)
Tear-away label for zero irritation—because itchy tags are a villainous plot
Ethically sourced and Oeko-Tex certified, so your moral compass doesn’t have to go full chaotic neutral
Warning: Wearing this shirt may result in unsolicited origin stories, suspicious glowing, or being recruited into a secret government initiative. Proceed with flair.